I find it challenging to discuss empathy without exploring mercy. However, I do find that often we do not really understand the meaning or concept of mercy, let alone, merciful leadership. Whether you are a religious person or not, it is a fact that mercy or merciful leadership can be found all throughout scripture. So, we’ve clearly been talking about the importance of mercy in leaders for quite some time.
In my opinion, you can’t talk about empathy without mercy. Because when you have empathy or the capability of empathy, you can have mercy or be merciful. Mercy simply means “compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone by someone who has the power to punish.” I understand that might sound a bit intense or harsh. But, let’s think about this for a moment. Those of us in leadership roles do have the power to “punish.” I do not like to look at it that why and how I choose to interpret the definition of punishment from the mercy definition in leadership is a bit different.
I recommend looking at it more from the perspective that leaders hold the power to make the tough decisions. Therefore, they have the power to make decisions that may feel like a punishment to their employees or direct reports. For example, say you have an employee that is constantly late. Every morning without fail, this employee arrives to our now virtual world, fifteen minutes late to the Zoom call check in.
As the leader, you decide to have a conversation with this employee. Instead of writing them up immediately or jumping to conclusions, you try to understand what is going on. You find out from the conversation that your employee now has three young children at home. Online school starts at the same time the daily check in call. As a merciful leader, you act with empathy, put yourself in her shoes and realize how challenging that must be. Then, come up with a solution that works for both of you. That’s merciful leadership.
I will give you another example from my personal experience. I was not always a merciful leader myself, but as I have shared on the podcast, time and certain events in my life have molded me into a more empathetic person and therefore, a more merciful leader. There was a young lady that worked for me several years ago who could not pass the annual tests that were required to work for the company. She was one of my best employees. She blew her sales and event numbers out of the water, and in addition, helped train teams in her local area. She went above and beyond. Well, she had to pass these tests and she ended up having other people take them for her in exchange for some of her sales. I was disheartened to learn that she did this, but I knew as a leader, it was my job to come from a place of understanding first.
I met with her and sat her down. We discussed it and she confessed to it immediately (had she not, I don’t think the mercy would have come out of me). I was so confused as to why she could not pass these tests. She knew all the information. She had a learning disability and test anxiety. Yes, she had lied to me, but she came clean and shared something that she struggled with deeply. In addition, she was a single mother and could not lose this job. Yes, she was reprimanded but she did not lose her job, and we worked on a plan to make her a successful test taker. She was promoted a little over a year later. That’s merciful leadership.
Now, I am not saying forgive your employees who are lying, stealing, cheating, and doing unmentionable things to you. Please do not misunderstand me. There is a difference. But, we are all people and we are all human. It is our jobs as leaders to remember them and take a step back. It’s our job to know the difference. When we act with empathy and use mercy when it’s warranted, we can make a difference with our people and it shows that you’re a strong leader, because you care, in my opinion.
