We all know someone that has zero tact. I am quite sure that person comes to your mind right now. If she or he does not, then let me remind me of what the actual definition of “tact” means. If you have “tact” then you show sensitivity in dealing with others or difficult issues. In my opinion, tact embodies a strength every leader must possess. But, does every leader have tact?
Through my experience, I have found that people will even confuse having tact with being dishonest or better described as “dancing around the truth.” I could not disagree more as those with tact deal with the real issues head on and with grace. A tactful individual, especially a leader, presents difficult issues in a digestible way for the recipient making this a desirable quality in a leader.
I feel that tact is naturally the second half of empathy or empathetic communication. I see it this way because you can have the ability to step outside of yourself and truly see, feel, and step into another’s shoes. We already know this takes patience because we know that we will not always agree or see the other person’s side or perspective. And you can be an appreciative person and leader by seeking to understand and engaging with your team throughout your patience and understanding. But, now, it is your time to respond, and it is your time to speak the truth, and your truth.
The evolution of empathy kicks in and we begin to discuss tact. How do you approach these difficult topics with sensitivity after you have been an active listening, empathetic leader? Well, being tactful comes easier to some of us than others. (I know you are thinking about someone in your life that has zero tact; we all know that person).
To demystify “tact” especially for leadership, it really comes down to delivery. In my opinion, that’s what it really means, and it makes the world of difference. I will throw out a few highs and lows from my own career.
I am sure we all believe we know everything when we begin our leadership journey, but I was not sure what I knew or did not know. I was naïve. I had fired employees before, but I will never forget this first official termination because I was a the sole responsible leader. It was my call to terminate this employee and I took full accountability at the old age of twenty-two and with so much experience. Well, I had a lot to learn. To add insult to injury, this employee was three times my age. I honestly don’t remember feeling anxious about the termination or conversation. I remember thinking, “He did it to himself. He never arrives on time. He takes constant breaks. He never makes his numbers. He’s unprofessional.” The list went on.
The day came when I had the conversation with this employee, and I told him in the back of the store the reasons for his termination. My eyes grew as he threw a temper tantrum like a child throughout the entire facility. He would not leave the premises. The cops eventually needed to remove him. I was floored. I asked myself again, “Surely, he saw this coming?” The truth was; he did not. So who failed here. Me or him. It was me. It does not matter that his termination was justified. I acted with absolutely no transparency, poor communication but most importantly, I had little sensitivity in dealing with a difficult issue. I lacked tact.
As a leader, what happens when you make a mistake? You either drowned, meaning you do not choose to lead again, or you learn. I learned. I hope you always learn something as well from my mistakes and my eventual growth. And, I would not say I became tactful overnight.
When I transferred from the men’s clothing company to the women’s company, my boss approached me during our second meeting. It was within the first month. He told me I could not email the way I had been emailing. In short, I had zero tact. I did not understand. What was wrong with my email?
Hi Suzi Q,
Turn in your paperwork by Friday, March 12th.
Best,
Maya
I could see him cringing. He told me that these emails came off harsh and impersonal. I adjusted. He was right for that climate. I disagree for the climate we are in now. I refuse to soften up or act differently because I am a woman. That was what was going on. It was a female dominated environment and a male insinuated that I needed to soften things for them. He was not correct long term, but I did add “I hope you are well” or “how are you” to the emails. It is about compromise and knowing your audience.
In my opinion, that was oversensitivity versus tact but that is why I say tact can be quite subjective. That is something to keep in mind when moving through your career, especially as a leader. But, through my mistakes and many criticisms, I personally feel comfortable with my approach on tactful leadership.
A few years ago, I took over a sales team that was not only all over the place geographically, but statistically with sales. There were a few salespeople pulling in nearly nothing each month. I found this odd since we were grossly understaffed. One particular salesperson could not travel due to medical issues but there was nothing documented with HR. The role she was in required travel as she oversaw a healthy territory. Well, it was pretty obvious why she was not making her sales goals.
However, I acted from a place of empathy and was seeking to understand. She had a deadline to turn in her paperwork to legitimize the excuse from travel. I am human and empathetic. I’ve even been through this myself. But, our one on one’s went on and the date approached, and the note was not being presented.
The documentation was due Friday and we were speaking that week. She said to me, “You are going to fire me, aren’t you?” I told her “No. I am not going to fire you. If you provide HR the proper documentation by the deadline, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about and we can focus on strategy for your territory.” She then said, “Well, that’s not going to happen so you’re going to fire me.” I told her, “If documentation is provided by Friday as we discussed on multiple occasions, then we do not need to worry about that. However, I will need to follow the company procedures and policies if it is not.”
Of course, the reaction is not pleasant here either, but the accountability is on your employee. If I had zero tact, I would have said, “Yes, I am going to fire you.” But that’s not tactful, but also, not truthful. The employee knows the policies and created this situation for herself, especially after given ample time to provide documents. To be tactful is to be truthful but to also hold accountability for others in a digestible way. This employee was terminated that Monday because the documentation was not provide, but it was no surprise to her. This is another benefit of being tactful, transparency. Your employees and/or team will always know where they stand with you in a respectful way.
Empathy and patience kick in during these trying moments as a leader. That’s why being mindful and aware are so critical so you can be tactful. Because it is imperative to remember, that your delivery will truly dictate your entire outcome as a leader, in my opinion.
